If you want to feel fat and old, go and see the Rambert Dance Company's "World View Tour".
Strangely enough this isn't something they mention in their advertising materials.
Not only are the dancers built like greyhounds, but if you sit in the cheap seats you'll be surrounded by every teenage dance student in your area, as they have presumably been given tickets in return for whooping and cheering at the end of each Act.
You see, a Contemporary Dance performance, no matter how good, does not fill a 1730 seat theatre in Manchester for four nights running. The place was at best a quarter full, and only half of those were paying customers..
Which was a shame, because it was outstanding. The pick of the pieces was the world premiere of "Infinity" - a dramatic piece with dancers in white on a black stage with red petals falling in piles from the ceilling, with music by the Australian dancer, composer and skateboarder, Luke Smiles.
I had a great time, despite feeling fat and old and nursing a runny nose and a flu-jabbed arm. I just think they should have moved the performance to the 466 seat Quays theatre next door - it would absolutely have rocked the house.