Monday, October 01, 2007

Boris Beeblebrox

Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.

I had a moment of clarity during a fiery Brick Lane curry tonight.

Boris Johnson (who is responsible for the quotation above) is Zaphod Beeblebrox.

Mr. Beeblebrox is a major character in Douglas Adams' "Hitchhiker" books. He is a two-headed, exhibitionistic, ego-maniac with an unshakable faith in his own coolness.

He is also President of the Galaxy, which sounds impressive, but the Book makes clear that
The purpose of the president of the galaxy is not to exercise power, it is to distract attention from the people who are really exercising power.

Zaphod, with his gift for shameless self-publicity, is the most successful President ever as the media are constantly chasing him, leaving the people who really run the galaxy to get on with it in peace.

I can see Boris being just such a Major of London. You just know he'll make radical speaking howlers, have sex with people he shouldn't and put forward surreal policies. Anything else that happens in London that's less interesting (but more important) is likely to relegated to the inside pages.

Vote Stan. You know it makes sense.


ArcticFox said...

will voting for Stan reduce the size of my "man boobs" and mean I NEVER have to drive a German car?



Kenny said...

I actually quite like Boris. He's over-educated but still manages to appeal. I'd sooner see him sat in Parliament than Mayor of the smoke.

Have you read any of his stuff in the Telegraph? He usually writes a column on Bryony day (T-2) and is quite astute. He's the acceptable face of Conservatism -- general common sense.

Fox, we should start a campaign to force the powers that be to sell Buicks in England. That is about the only incentive I have for getting behind a wheel again ever.

Stan said...

Boris Johnson = "general common sense" ??!

I'm with Frankie Boyle : "He's the sort of person who 200 years ago would have died aged 30 leading a calvary charge into a volcano. "