The appointment of my favourite TV childcare expert, Dr. Tanya Byron, to head a government enquiry has set me thinking.
Why not go all the way and ignore politicians totally and recruit TV personalities when making government appointments ?
For example, the following will assume the key roles in my cabinet should I be swept to power anytime soon :-
Chancellor : Anna Chancellor. I'm not sure if she knows much about Finance, but I'm rubbish at remembering names, so having a Chancellor called Chancellor will help me a lot.
Foreign Secretary : Michael Palin. He's likely to be abroad filming anyway, so it would save money if he could just pop in and do a bit of schmoozing on the way to the airport.
Home Secretary : Kim Woodburn and Aggie MacKenzie. More of a "How Clean is Your Home" Secretary, but I'm sure if anyone can clean up the mess at the Home Office, it's them.
Secretary of State for Scotland, Women and Children : Wee Jimmy Krankie. Unrivalled experience of being Scottish, a woman and a child.
Chief Whip : Indiana Jones. Already knows how to use a whip, so can do the job from Day 1.
Minister of Transport : Jeremy Clarkson. I'd love to see what he'd come up. 140mph minimum speed limits on the M1? Worth it just to see him screech up outside Number 10 in his Ministerial Lamborghini.
Minister of Silly Walks : John Cleese, obviously. The Minster of Silly Walks will be given a wide remit as a "Cabinet Enforcer". And that's a sane idea compared to putting John Prescott in the cabinet.