Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Mumbai Roulette - Stan versus Tiscali

The idea with this Blog was to take aim at the big, worthy, weighty issues in the world.

Then Tiscali came into my life and I no longer have the energy.

If rights are being trampled at home and war crimes committed abroad, I could care less at the moment. Just as long as someone fixes my home broadband connection.

I moved into my new house and signed up with Tiscali this summer. Things seemed to be working OK albeit with the occasional hiccup, but then I'm hardly home long enough to notice. However, my wife started to become an enthusiastic Internet user and she worked out that it always stopped working when the sun went down.

I could cut-and-paste the email chain and type up summaries of the phone calls that followed but that would be tedious for everyone and like I say, I don't have the energy anymore.

Suffice it to say, I have suffered the full range of Call Centre agonies.

Here are the Top Ten Tiscali Tortures :-

(1) Tiscali staff who couldn't understand my accent (to be fair I had trouble with theirs)
(2) Tiscali staff who didn't understand my problem
(3) Tiscali staff who couldn't do anything for me at all
(4) Tiscali staff who could do only one thing for me, and did it even though the notes said it was something that had already been done.
(5) Tiscali staff who tried and failed to divert me and cut me off
(6) Tiscali staff who didn't want to talk to my wife
(7) Tiscali staff who denied I had ever reported a problem
(8) Tiscali voice message system that cut me off, after keeping me waiting 10 minutes
(9) Tiscali voice system that didn't let me queue or leave a message - just cut me off.
(10) The totally information-free Tiscali website that doesn't exactly help you when you are having problems.

And the torture continues - my connection continues to go down with the sun and I'm serious considering learning some basic Urdu, Bengali and Hindi to see if I can get myself understood.

Better type faster - night is falling I hav.......

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