Myself and Mrs Stan did some painting today and made a discovery. Cheap paint sticks to everything apart from the wall you are aiming it at. And there are parts of the wall that appear to eat paint. I slap it on like cheese and then I turn round and look back and it's gone. Eaten by the Paint-Eating Magnolia Beast.
So most of my possessions and some hard-to-get-to parts of my body are now splattered with paint. Needed Mrs Stan to rescue me.
And that's just one small room. Can't wait until I can afford someone Polish and competent to do it for me.
Meanwhile I'm telling anyone that will listen that the grey streaks in my hair are actually paint and not signs of ageing. No-one is buying that.