Talking and Not Talking

Hi. You have reached the Voice Mailbox of Stan Gamla.

Don't bother leaving a message - I don't do voicemail.

I don't leave voicemail messages and I don't have voicemail set up on my mobile.

It's a total waste of time. Something like 90% of messages follow this pattern :-

"Hi... er ... it's [name] ... I wanted to talk to you about [getting Stan to drop the important stuff he's currently busy with and instead do something that benefits only them]. Can you call me back? Byeeee."

They wanted to talk to me. Instead they spent 60 seconds of their time talking to one of my machines and I spent 60 seconds of my time listening to the message. If we're really unlucky, a telecom company will have made money out of both of these redundant activities.

If you call me there will be no answerphone message. After you've listened to the ringing signal for a while, you will eventually work out for yourself that I am either unable or unwilling to talk to you at that precise instant. You will hang up. At a later point when I am available and willing, I will see your number in "Missed Calls" and I will call you back and give you the full benefit of my attention.

Because your call is important to me.

This scheme won't work if your number is withheld. Good - I don't want to talk to people who withhold their number.

But what if it's urgent ? Well, people I care about know to text me or email me. Everyone else can wait their turn.

It sounds brutal, but isn't it worse to force people to leave a message and then never return the call? Some people even claim never to have received your voicemail message, and there's no way you can prove otherwise.

Voicemail is inefficient, unreliable and annoying.

Join the revolution. Don't leave a message after the long tone.

Beeeeeepp.