Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Legalese 101

Part of an irregular series on court vocabulary and the way it is interpreted by this Magistrate:-
  • Melee
    • Translation : "My client did not hit the complainant, but even if he did, it was an accident 
    • Example Usage : "I maintain that the broken nose was most likely sustained in the ensuing melee rather than as a result of any premeditated act by my client".
  • My client tells me that ...
    • Translation : the phrase itself has no meaning except to prefix a statement that is at best a half-truth but which might persuade a bench to think twice about imposing custody.
    • Example Usage : "My client tells me that he has an interview for a job on Monday"
    • Contrast this with  : "My client has an interview for a job on Monday" - this is most likely true because the brief will have actually seen proof before making such a verifiable statement in a court of law.


Arnold said...

"My instructions are, Sir"
"I don't believe this crap either."

The Defence Brief said...

"I can assure the court that Mr X has been fully advised on the law, evidence and discount for sentence and he wishes to maintain his not guilty plea."

Translates to:

"I've told him he's going to lose but he won't listen to me."

Stan said...

Oh yes, that's a good one - there's usually a facial expression that goes with it too.